Dear Mom and Dad,
Did you know it has been four months since the razor has made it's last impression on my wrist? Four months since I watched the blood trickle down my arm for the last time? Did you know I made a promise never to do it again? So far I've kept that promise to myself, but trust me, there are still nights I want to break it. Any rainy and sad day; anything I don't believe I can handle—-and my blood, sweat and tears want to flow. Did you even know this was going on? I started to cut myself in
the middle of last year. It was an absolutely brutal time. Where were you? Do you even know why I would start? Take a glimpse at my life.
Did you know I had no friends? Did you know I have no support here at home? Did you realize I had nothing? You and I constantly fought, and then you hit me with the possibility of moving away and that hung over me. Then there were the guys. One I trusted let me down in the worst possible way and the jerk I was dating hurt me more than loved me. I could go on and on. Did you know that many of these things are still with me today?
I’ve found a better way to cope. I wouldn’t say I’m TONS happier, but I am a bit. My heart is still bruised, and I’m still broken and bleeding. People I trust still find the need to kick me when I’m down, but whenever I’m upset I just remember that each day I go without adding another scar to my body, is a day closer to conquering this addiction. It hasn’t been as hard as I thought it would be. It’s been harder, but before I hit rock bottom, I never realized how deep in it I actually was.
Just thought you should know
Monday, September 20, 2010
at 12:02 PM