I had a young person sitting across the table from me.
They had just confessed a whopper of a tale to me.
I believed in them and they had failed. The silence between us was deafening as they
waited for my response. In reality this
was as much a test for me as it was for them.
I wanted to be truthful and loving at the same time.
To say, “it’s no big deal.” would be a lie.
To say, “how could you?” wouldn’t help.
I waited, letting my own emotions subside.
I prayed, asking for God to take control of my mouth.
As I prayed, I was able to think more clearly.
I knew that what had been done could not be undone. There was no point in scolding them.
I knew that this was weighing on their heart or they wouldn’t
care what I thought. There was no point in
objecting.
I knew that if I were in their place, I would want my
confession to be met with care.
I asked a few clarifying questions to buy time for my true
answer. I knew that this was an
opportunity to mentor them through a learning opportunity and I didn’t want to
blow it.
Then with one last prayer, I spoke.
What I said was for their ears. I can’t share it here. What I can say is this. I have been honored time and time again for
laying aside my emotion, speaking the truth with confidence and offering care
in the midst of great turmoil.
Kids mess up. They
need someone that will care about them from prisons to mansions and someone
that in the midst of that to tell them how it is.
As a youth worker, be a coach – not a judge.
